*My friend, Shan, told me this after I posted this recipe on Facebook (Thanks, Shan!):
A little known fact that you may find interesting. My neighbor is a crabber and catches his crabs from the San Bernard River, Brazos River and the surrounding bays [in Texas]. At the end of the day he catches between 1000 and 2000 pounds of crab which a refrigerated truck delivers to the Intercontinental Airport [in Houston] and they are flown to Maryland. People from all over the world can order a fresh Maryland Blue crab but only a few people know they come from Brazoria County.
My mouth waters for crabcakes anytime I’m anticipating a visit from my father-in-law from Maryland. The last time he was in town, he did not disappoint. Here is his secret recipe:
2 lb. lump crab meat (backfin)
2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
2 T. Old Bay
2-4 T. mayonnaise
2 T. mustard
Oil for frying
Heat about one inch deep amount of oil in a skillet to frying temperature. Pat the crab meat dry with paper towels. Mix eggs, Worcestershire sauce, and Old Bay together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, add half of the crab meat, half of the egg mixture, half of the mayonnaise, and half of the mustard. Mix and add additional Old Bay to taste.
This is my father-in-law (below). We call him Pop. Ducky calls him Pop Pop.
Add the remaining crab meat, egg mixture, mayonnaise, and mustard. Mix well and add additional Old Bay to taste.
Use a rolling pin to finely crush crackers.
Add crackers to crab mixture and mix with your hands. Make palm-sized cakes.
Fry them babies up until golden brown.
I like to sprinkle mine with extra Old Bay before they cool.
Have you ever steamed lobster tails? I have always been intimidated by the process, but this diva makes it seem pretty easy. I’m going to try it and post my results. One day. In the mean time, you can read her directions kicked off by a super sweet story about her dad.
Line up, ladies. My brother is single and he can cook! He can also use decent grammar if he tries, but I copied these directions from an email he sent to me. Not knowing I was going to cut and paste it verbatim, he didn’t worry about shit like punctuation or spelling. My commentary is in red. Here goes….
rule number one. Keep Troy away from the frying pan. lol! Our friend, Troy, doesn’t follow directions.
Idk let me see if i can remember everything. seasoning is really to the cookers choice.i dont know all the details i just wing it mane!!! i usually use meat tenderizer and seasoning salt. put seasoning before you put in the BBQ pit.
This is Bud (below) in the blue.
charcoal or wood is good. smoke at 350 degrees wrapped in aluminum foil for approximately 3 1/2 hrs. if ribs are cooked to tender makes hard to handle when cutting up and battering them. they usualy fall apart. you want them to stay hole. so if you pull out a little early its ALL GOOD!!! LOL!!! you want the BONE IN THE MEAT STILL!!!. That’s what she said.
while cooking the ribs you can prep the batter and milk and eggs. im not sure about the ratio of milk to egg i just eyeball it and it depends on how many ribs we gonna be cooking.
with the flour i add my seasoning salt. (mmmm just made me think of adding some BROWN SUGAR to it. try it next time)
but idk how much to add i just add the seasoning salt until i see a color i like between the flour and the seasoning salt. call it soul food cooking. soul food cooking dont use no measuring cups. Yup! Just like our Grandma taught us!
after pulling them off the cooker i let them cool for a litte bit so i can cut them up individually and dip them in the milk and egg batter them( batter twice for a crisperer rib. and toss them in the grease for approximately 2 to 3 minutes or until a golden color. grease has to be frying temp.
try to cook one rib first to see how it cooks and judge aprroximate timing so you dont mess up a hole batch of ribs.
That’s Troy (below) pretending he’s listening to how not to add too many ribs at once.
let me know if there is any questions about anything that i might have left out. you can find some good recipes on the interenet if you need exact amount of ingredients and stuff.
Stand back, bishes, that’s my husband, Babafa, (below) doing what he does best.
That wraps up his email on how to make fried ribs. It’s a process and it helps to have a wingman, especially if you’re frying up a couple of racks, but the outcome is outstanding.
We served this with a mean pot of pinto beans, some cold potato salad, and a hearty helping of Shame on You Dirty Rice.
Here are some recipes I found for the “exact amount of ingredients and stuff“:
This recipe makes 20 tacos. I roll some thin (we call them pinners) and I roll a few fat (we call those blunts). I individually wrap them so we can heat them up one by one in the microwave or throw all of them in the oven until warm. They must be served with hot sauce! That’s in the How to Be a Southerner Handbook.
3 T vegetable oil
1 bag frozen hash browns
2 pkgs. Real bacon bits
3 T Cajun seasoning
1 doz. Eggs
½ c. milk
2 c. shredded cheddar cheese
Warm oil on a skillet over medium high heat. Brown hash browns in oil according to package directions. Once browned, add bacon bits and 2 tablespoons of Cajun seasoning. In a bowl, whisk eggs, milk, and the remaining Cajun seasoning. Pour into skillet and gently turn mixture with a spatula until eggs are cooked through.
For individually wrapped tacos, layer a sheet of foil, a tortilla, a handful of cheese, and one scoop of hash brown mixture. Close the tortilla and wrap tight with the foil.
They fit nicely in those aluminum casserole pans with lids. This is how I take them on the road.
Sometimes called Creole Rice or Cajun Rice, this Shame on You Dirty Rice blows all that other shit out the water.
Shame on You Dirty Rice
4 tbs. olive oil
1 lb. ground pork sausage
1 lb. chicken livers, diced
1 T garlic, minced
½ c. celery, diced
1 c. bell pepper, diced
1 c. sweet yellow onion, diced
4 T Cajun seasoning
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. black pepper
2 c. chicken stock
6 c. cooked rice, chilled
½ c. fresh parsley, minced
Cook the pork and chicken livers in 2 tablespoons of oil until cooked through and break up into tiny pieces.
Add the remaining oil, vegetables, and seasonings (add Cajun seasoning 1 tablespoon at a time to taste).
Cook until vegetables are cooked through.
Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil. Turn heat down to medium for 5 minutes.
Stir in rice until mixed well and rice is warm. Turn off the heat and stir in parsley.
You can eat this as a meal or as a side for Fried Ribs (recipe to come!).
Sometimes awesomeness happens. This is one of those times.
Bacon Cheeseburger Casserole
2 tbsp. vegetable oil
¼ c. onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
1 jalapeno, seeded and minced
1 lb. ground beef
1 pkg. Real bacon bits
1 tsp. dry mustard
1 tbsp. grill seasoning
1 can cream of mushroom
2 c. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 bag frozen waffle fries
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cook vegetables in oil until tender. Add beef, bacon, and seasonings. Add bacon, seasonings, and cream of mushroom. Stir and cook on medium low until heated through. Pour mixture into a casserole dish lightly sprayed with cooking oil. Top with one layer of waffle fries. Cook according to the waffle fries package. Top with shredded cheese and heat in the oven until cheese melts.
Best topped with BBQ sauce and served with a side salad.
Here’s what they say about the ones that made the list:
THE HAY MERCHANT | Houston, Texas (NEW TO THIS YEAR’S LIST!)
This frisky new spot along one of Houston’s main thoroughfares is brick-dressed and brings it with 78 beers on tap, 5 of which are on cask. Not only is the selection deep, but it’s one-of-a-kind: The bar lends barrels to breweries for one-off projects. Plus, the food’s got flair, from fried headcheese to Chicken Fried Texas Water Buffalo. 1100 Westheimer Rd.,
PETROL STATION | Houston, Texas (NEW TO THIS YEAR’S LIST!)
This cozy neighborhood hideaway is small, but it hosts a sizable beer selection that makes hopheads in other parts of the state green. Join its active beer-loving community on Facebook and chat about the latest, greatest release, or just head in blindly (you won’t be disappointed) for a burger and beer in this Houston hop spot. 985 Wakefield Dr., 713.957.2875
I’m not one to just take a beer connoisseur’s word for it. (Especially after he categorized Houston in the West and not the South, where it lies. One strike and he’s out.) I’m going to investigate for myself.
The original recipe is here. I’ve always left ribs up to Babafa, but now I’m the rib master! These are so tender and flavorful!
Slow Cooker Baby Back Ribs
¼ c. brown sugar
2 tbsp. smoked paprika
1 ½ tsp. kosher salt
1 ½ tsp. black pepper
¼ tsp. cayenne pepper
1 tsp. onion powder
2 tsp. garlic powder
3 racks baby back ribs
Whisk together all spices. Set aside. Remove the membrane from the back of the ribs. Season both sides of the ribs with rub. Slice racks in half. Place ribs vertically in a 6-quart slow cooker, with the larger cut bone side down and meat side out. Cook on low for 6-7 hours.
Remove ribs from slow cooker and place on baking sheet. Brush with BBQ sauce and place under the broiler for 3-5 minutes, until BBQ sauce is bubbly. Serve with additional BBQ sauce, if desired.
I can’t cook meatballs without my head in the gutter. I’m such a pubescent boy sometimes. It’s going to be hard, but I will try to spare you my crudeness today and get on with the show. Lucky you!
One more note before we begin…. and this is more of a warning…. like a PSA…. just doing my duty… here it is….
Once you’ve had my balls, you’ll never want anyone else’s.
I’m not bragging, I’m just honest. 😉 I can’t help myself.
EAT MY MEATA BALLSA
1 egg, lightly beaten
1/3 c. bread crumbs
¼ c. Parmesan, grated
¼ c. milk
¼ c. onion, chopped
1 lb. Italian sausage (ground or links)
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine the egg, bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, milk, and onion in a bowl.
Add sausage to the bread-crumb mixture and mix together with your hands. This is where you can let your little ones help, like my 9 year old niece, Fiata, is doing here.
Roll into golf ball sized meatballs and arrange on a baking pan.
Bake for 20 minutes or until meatballs are cooked through (160°F). Now try the most delicious balls you’ve ever had.
Throw them in some marinara, such as Tha Boss Marinara Sauce, like I did here.
Make them into a Meatball Sub Casserole, like this.
Or make some kickass Party Meatballs for the Super Bowl. (Double the recipe.)
Now put my balls in yo mouth and shut up!!!