Category: recipes

Perfect Mashed Potatoes

Perfect Mashed Potatoes by pachomp.com

Perfect Mashed Potatoes

5 med. potatoes

8 oz. sour cream

4 oz. butter (1 stick)

1 c. shredded parmesan cheese

4 cloves garlic, minced

2 tsp. salt

¼ tsp. black pepper

Perfect Mashed Potatoes by pachomp.com

Wash and cut potatoes into 1” chunks. Boil for 10 minutes or until tender all the way through. Strain and add all other ingredients. Mash to your favorite consistency.

Printable recipe:

Perfect Mashed Potatoes

Bish Berries

If you liked Slush Berries, you’ll love Bish Berries.

Bish Berries by pachomp.com

Bish Berries

5 small peaches (or 3 large)

1 can pineapple chunks

 1 bunch red grapes

1 bottle moscato

Dice the peaches. Drain the pineapple. Pick the grapes. Layer into containers. Fill with moscato. Seal and let marry for a few days.

Bish Berries by pachomp.com

 Serve a few tablespoons into some sprite, tonic water, a peach daiquiri, or even into a chardonnay.

You can also throw a few pieces of fruit and moscato into an ice cube tray to freeze. Add them to your drinks just like the marinated concoction.

Bish Berries by pachomp.com

Cheers Bishes!

Printable Recipe:

Bish Berries

Chicken Skilletini

Chicken Skilletini by pachomp.com

Chicken Skilletini

2 tbsp. vegetable oil

1 rotisseri chicken, shredded

1 link Andouille sausage, sliced thin

2 c. Creole diced veggies

1 can stewed tomatoes

1 jar spaghetti sauce

2 cloves garlic, minced

2 tbsp. red pepper flakes (optional)

1 tbsp. minced onion

1 tbsp. salt

½ tbsp. black pepper

Angel hair pasta, prepared

Shredded parmesan

Chicken Skilletini by pachomp

In a skillet, cook chicken, sausage, and veggies in oil until veggies are tender. Add tomatoes, spaghetti sauce, and seasonings. Heat through. Add to pasta and top with parmesan.

Chicken Skilletini by pachomp.com

Serve with Garlic Asparagus and a thick slice of garlic bread.

Printable Recipe:

Chicken Skilletini

30 Shots

If you party at my house, “shots” is the word.

I normally start everybody with something sweet, but strong, like Tequila Rose.

The next round will be a semi-strong concoction I’ve made up on the fly, like Amaretto, OJ, and Crown Royal.

The third round will be an easy, but tasty, shot, like coconut rum and pineapple juice. I normally shake the mixed shots with ice (always taste test and adjust them) and strain into the shot glasses.

Then I’ll serve something straight, like Jack Daniels. Mostly just the men take these shots, but you’ll get a rowdy girl in there sometimes.

30 shots pachomp.com

Depending on how many people are present, I’ll have anywhere between 6 to 18 shot glasses on my tray. You can get 6 packs of 2 oz. shot glasses from Wal-Mart for a few bucks. Stock up on those, a shaker, strainer, ice, and some provisions before your next party and you’ll be all set.

If you’re having trouble coming up with shot variations, this chart will help.

Maryland Crab Cakes

*My friend, Shan, told me this after I posted this recipe on Facebook (Thanks, Shan!):

A little known fact that you may find interesting. My neighbor is a crabber and catches his crabs from the San Bernard River, Brazos River and the surrounding bays [in Texas]. At the end of the day he catches  between 1000 and 2000 pounds of crab which a refrigerated truck delivers to the Intercontinental Airport [in Houston] and they are flown to Maryland. People from all over the world can order a fresh Maryland Blue crab but only a few people know they come from Brazoria County.

My mouth waters for crabcakes anytime I’m anticipating a visit from my father-in-law from Maryland. The last time he was in town, he did not disappoint. Here is his secret recipe:

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

2 lb. lump crab meat (backfin)

2 eggs

2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

2 T. Old Bay

2-4 T. mayonnaise

2 T. mustard

12-15 crackers

Oil for frying

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Heat about one inch deep amount of oil in a skillet to frying temperature. Pat the crab meat dry with paper towels. Mix eggs, Worcestershire sauce, and Old Bay together in a bowl. In a separate bowl, add half of the crab meat, half of the egg mixture, half of the mayonnaise, and half of the mustard. Mix and add additional Old Bay to taste.

This is my father-in-law (below). We call him Pop. Ducky calls him Pop Pop.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

 Add the remaining crab meat, egg mixture, mayonnaise, and mustard. Mix well and add additional Old Bay to taste.

Use a rolling pin to finely crush crackers.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Add crackers to crab mixture and mix with your hands. Make palm-sized cakes.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Fry them babies up until golden brown.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

I like to sprinkle mine with extra Old Bay before they cool.

Maryland Crab Cakes by pachomp.com

Printable recipe:

Maryland Crab Cakes

Baconlube: It’s Real!

You’re welcome, bishes!

For the same price it would cost to buy a slab of bacon, fry it, and pour the grease on your junk! It now comes ready to use and burn free. (I’m really only assuming it’s burn free.)

Baconlube!! pachomp.com

 

Click the picture to get lubed.

Apple Pie Moonshine

And now for the recipe you’ve been waiting for….

Apple Pie Moonshine

Apple Pie Moonshine

Cheese cloth

20 cinnamon sticks

1 gal. apple juice

4 ½ L. apple cider (unsweetened)

4 c. brown sugar

1 sm. bottle vanilla extract

1 T. nutmeg

1 ½ L. Everclear (190 proof)

12 Mason jars

 Wrap about 8 cinnamon sticks in a piece of cheese cloth and tie the ends together to make a packet. In a large pot, mix packet and all other ingredients (except the Everclear) and bring to a boil. Boil for 15 minutes. Let the mixture cool to room temperature. Once completely cooled, stir in the Everclear. Add one cinnamon stick to each Mason jar. Pour moonshine into mason jars and hand tighten the lids. Let the jars sit in a cool place for about two weeks for best results. The shelf life is one year. Serve cold.

This recipe was given to me by a friend/coworker we call “Cuz”. Thanks, Cuz!!

Printable Recipe:

Apple Pie Moonshine

Bud’s Fried Ribs

Line up, ladies. My brother is single and he can cook! He can also use decent grammar if he tries, but I copied these directions from an email he sent to me. Not knowing I was going to cut and paste it verbatim, he didn’t worry about shit like punctuation or spelling. My commentary is in red. Here goes….

Fried Ribs 001

rule number one. Keep Troy away from the frying pan. lol!  Our friend, Troy, doesn’t follow directions.

Idk let me see if i can remember everything. seasoning is really to the cookers choice.i dont know all the details i just wing it mane!!! i usually use meat tenderizer and seasoning salt. put seasoning before you put in the BBQ pit.

This is Bud (below) in the blue.

Fried Ribs 010

charcoal or wood is good. smoke at 350 degrees wrapped in aluminum foil for approximately 3 1/2 hrs. if ribs are cooked to tender makes hard to handle when cutting up and battering them. they usualy fall apart. you want them to stay hole.  so if you pull out a little early its ALL GOOD!!! LOL!!! you want the BONE IN THE MEAT STILL!!!. That’s what she said.

Fried Ribs 009

while cooking the ribs you can prep the batter and milk and eggs. im not sure about the ratio of milk to egg i just eyeball it and it depends on how many ribs we gonna be cooking. 

Fried Ribs 007

with the flour i add my seasoning salt. (mmmm just made me think of adding some BROWN SUGAR to it. try it next time) 

Fried Ribs 008

but idk how much to add i just add the seasoning salt until i see a color i like between the flour and the seasoning salt. call it soul food cooking.  soul food cooking dont use no measuring cups. Yup! Just like our Grandma taught us!

Fried Ribs 012

after pulling them off the cooker i let them cool for a litte bit so i can cut them up individually and dip them in the milk and egg batter them( batter twice for a crisperer rib.  and toss them in the grease for approximately 2 to 3 minutes or until a golden color. grease has to be frying temp.

Fried Ribs 006

try to cook one rib first to see how it cooks and judge aprroximate timing so you dont mess up a hole batch of ribs. 

That’s Troy (below) pretending he’s listening to how not to add too many ribs at once.

Fried Ribs 011

let me know if there is any questions about anything that i might have left out. you can find some good recipes on the interenet if you need exact amount of ingredients and stuff.

Stand back, bishes, that’s my husband, Babafa, (below) doing what he does best. 

Fried Ribs 005

That wraps up his email on how to make fried ribs. It’s a process and it helps to have a wingman, especially if you’re frying up a couple of racks, but the outcome is outstanding.

Fried Ribs 001

We served this with a mean pot of pinto beans, some cold potato salad, and a hearty helping of Shame on You Dirty Rice.

Here are some recipes I found for the “exact amount of ingredients and stuff“:

Cajun Fried Ribs

Fried Ribs!

Deep Fried Ribs

Hangover Tacos

This recipe makes 20 tacos. I roll some thin (we call them pinners) and I roll a few fat (we call those blunts). I individually wrap them so we can heat them up one by one in the microwave or throw all of them in the oven until warm. They must be served with hot sauce! That’s in the How to Be a Southerner Handbook.

Hangover Tacos 004

Hangover Tacos

3 T vegetable oil

1 bag frozen hash browns

2 pkgs. Real bacon bits

3 T Cajun seasoning

1 doz. Eggs

½ c. milk

20 tortillas

2 c. shredded cheddar cheese

Hangover Tacos

Warm oil on a skillet over medium high heat. Brown hash browns in oil according to package directions. Once browned, add bacon bits and 2 tablespoons of Cajun seasoning. In a bowl, whisk eggs, milk, and the remaining Cajun seasoning. Pour into skillet and gently turn mixture with a spatula until eggs are cooked through.

Hangover Tacos

For individually wrapped tacos, layer a sheet of foil, a tortilla, a handful of cheese, and one scoop of hash brown mixture. Close the tortilla and wrap tight with the foil.

Hangover Tacos

They fit nicely in those aluminum casserole pans with lids. This is how I take them on the road.

Printable recipe:

Hangover Tacos