Category: i need a tissue

Shame on You Dirty Rice

Sometimes called Creole Rice or Cajun Rice, this Shame on You Dirty Rice blows all that other shit out the water.

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Shame on You Dirty Rice

4 tbs. olive oil

1 lb. ground pork sausage

1 lb. chicken livers, diced

1 T garlic, minced

½ c. celery, diced

1 c. bell pepper, diced

1 c. sweet yellow onion, diced

4 T Cajun seasoning

1 tsp. salt

1 tsp. black pepper

2 c. chicken stock

6 c. cooked rice, chilled

½ c. fresh parsley, minced

Cook the pork and chicken livers in 2 tablespoons of oil until cooked through and break up into tiny pieces.

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Add the remaining oil, vegetables, and seasonings (add Cajun seasoning 1 tablespoon at a time to taste).

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Cook until vegetables are cooked through.

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Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil. Turn heat down to medium for 5 minutes.

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Stir in rice until mixed well and rice is warm. Turn off the heat and stir in parsley.

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You can eat this as a meal or as a side for Fried Ribs (recipe to come!).

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Printable recipe:

Shame on You Dirty Rice

Kid Fashion

My brother, Bud, is a single father to my 9 year old niece, Fiata.  Since he’s not into girl fashion, he let me take Fiata shopping for school clothes.  He did the right thing, too.  He gave me a credit card and said, “Get whatever she wants.”

Bud and Fiata

Fiata and I made a day of it with sushi, shopping, and then a little fashion show.  For the fashion show, I took pictures of her in different outfit combinations and then printed the pictures into an 8×10 collage through Walgreens.com.  Now Bud can look at the collage to get ideas on how to dress Fiata for school.

I had such a good time with Fiata and the pictures came out so cute that I decided to share them with you.

FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA FIATA

Also, I have a couple of shots of our day.  Here she is texting me from across the table at lunch.

FIATA

Poor sweet thang passed out on the way home.  She shopped til she dropped.

FIATA

WTF?!

Chicks with Steve Buscemi eyes.  Apparently, this is a thing going around and it’s been around for a while.  However, I have just happened upon it recently.  Whatever it is, it’s fucking disgusting.  And fucking hilarious.

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen

Lady Gaga

Madonna

Miley-Cyrus

Miley Cyrus (the more I look, the more I laugh)

In today’s media, one MUST combine the cat with all meme trends.

If you’re jealous, you can make one for yourself!

Click on the photos to go to the source.

Ahhh…Steve Buscemi…you get awesomer and awesomer.

I’m a Slush

Having a wine cooler involves a lot more responsibility than I ever imagined.  I have had my 20 bottle wine cooler for about 2 years now and I think I’m finally figuring out the logistics to keeping it full and having a variety.  Since I have learned a thing or two about a thing or two, I created three easy rules to live by.

Rule #1: Buy two bottles of your favorite and four bottles of any other variety once a month. (You can get 10% off at H-E-B if you buy 6 bottles and 20% off of 12.)

Rule #2: Don’t wait until you run dry before you stock up on more wine. Having a wine cooler is all about stock. Stock. Stock. Stock.

Rule #3: Limit yourself to one glass a night. That way, it’s easier to convince yourself that you are over your limit after your second glass.

Here is my stock.


The whole enchilada.  Notice the strategic layering.  Leave that to the professionals.



The top rack.  I chill some liquors and mixers in my wine cooler, too.  If you want to spoil me, you’ll buy me Zing Zang and Tito’s (see next pic) so I can make the most perfect Bloody Marys in a snap.



The second rack.  These are all oversized bottles and great for parties.  If you’re new to wine, drink the Ste. Genevieve Sweet Moscato (far right).



The third rack.  Lindemans (second from the left) is my favorite chardonnay based on price ($4) and flavor (bold, but not too dry).



The fourth rack.  The blackberry merlot (second from the right) is for the kids.



The bottom rack. Wilson Creek Almond Champagne (far left and far right) is a treat and the most expensive ($15)  wine/champagne I buy.



A cutting board for cheese, some bar tools, and an emergency bottle of merlot, in case we ever run dry.  Plus, an awesome antique fan refurbished by my Uncle BB.



The reds, a couple of reserves, a few saved corks, and a drawer full of drink accessories (straws, stoppers, toothpicks).  Plus, a bottle of champagne (bottom left) left over from our marriage reception that we will open on our 50th anniversary.  Some people do cake.  We do alcohol.

Don’t get too jealous.  This is the fullest my stock has ever been and it is already showing signs of depletion.  Now, bounce your happy ass over to my house and let’s have a drink!

For further reading, here are some awesome illustrated wine etiquette tips: Wine Etiquette

– Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

31 Days of Giving -Day 8

I helped a coworker take some field measurements.  And it was cold.  And I had to wear a harness.  And I had to climb scaffolding.  And when he dropped his tape measure from 50 ft. up, I kindly climbed all the way back down to get the tape and made the climb up all over again.  And when he shook the scaffolding we were on top of to show me how sturdy it was, I STILL didn’t punch him in the face.

There’s a New Sheriff in Town

PaChomp: “Wow, I wish Pepper was here.  I really miss her.”

Ducky: “Yeah, I miss her too….” (he points and laughs at me) “and I wish you wouldn’t have killed her!”

Then we all laugh hysterically.  Our household maintains a dry, morbid sense of humor no matter the circumstances and this creative gene quadrupled in my five year old son.  He’s right, though, I really did kill our dog that we had for eight years.  Not on purpose, of course.  I’m not that morbid.  Or funny.  Though we make horrible jokes about her death, we all loved her and miss her very much.  


Dante Cul Pepper 2002-2010
I killed Pepper because I was astounded by the cost of dog collars these days and so I bought her one of those cheap collars that doesn’t have the safety release mechanism that breaks the collar apart if it is hung on something.  Plus, the cheap collars didn’t come in a size small enough for her tiny neck, so I had to get one that’s just large enough to form a noose.

Ducky and Pepper, both 8 lbs, circa 2005

I’m sure you can connect the dots from there, but I’ll talk slow for all the fucktards out there.  Her collar got hung up on the bottom of the fence in our back yard and she couldn’t get loose because her fucking collar was made for A) cheap bastards that want their dog to die or B) cheap bastards that think their dog is intelligent enough to keep from hanging themselves.  I am the latter cheap bastard, of course.


Goin’ to Pawpaw’s, circa 2009

I joke about her because it’s the only way I can talk about her without getting too emotional, but I have missed her since that day, November 19th, 2010.  Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind that we make jokes.  She understood us way back when we tested all of our baby toys out on her before Ducky was born.  Likewise, I knew she had a sick sense of humor like us the day she called me a bitch and put me outside.  She gets it.

Boppy Test I
Walker Test V

So back to my title story that my adult ADD won’t let me begin…

There’s a new sheriff in town and her name is Foxy Cleopatra.  Foxy, if you’re nasty.  She’s about 8 months old and a very sweet chihuahua (or chicken la la, as Ducky calls it).  We have had her for about a month and we love her already, although she is still trying to learn the rules of the house.  She loves to have her ears rubbed and she touches everything with her nose.  Ugh.  She is also very sensitive to our jokes, so some breaking in is in order.  Other than that, she is a great dog, so I wanted you to meet her.

I promise I will try not to kill this bitch.  Cheers to Foxy!

Ducky’s First Day of Kindergarten

Well, it turns out that Ducky is a very good student, according to his Kindergarten teacher.  (I was holding my breath.)  He is so excited to be a grown up.  Finally!!  The build up was killing him.  He slaved through the early bed times, the schedule changes, the school supply shopping, and then clothes shopping.  He was smart about his clothes, though.  Everything he picked out is blue and black and grey.  All of his favorite colors.  And then came the day….

I have just realized that we take a lot of pictures on this porch.  I sure am going to miss it if we ever move.

Back to my story…. ISN’T HE HANDSOME?!!

Just in case you don’t remember…. this was his first day of daycare…

Story Blanket

Dear Story,

 This quilt top was made by your Grandma Noon.  She worked hard to finish it before you arrived, but left it for me to finish when she became too ill.  It was an honor to take up where she left off.
Grandma has taught me how to sew since I was a little girl.  She would let me cut the pieces and put them in order.  Together, we made pillow cases, aprons, hot pads, and a super hero cape for my son.  I learned to clean the sewing machine and thread it.  I loved the smell of the heat coming from the machine and the steady hammering sound it made.  I always looked forward to seeing Grandma’s new quilt tops when I would visit.  I would finger through her next patterns and fabric pieces.  She had an eye for picking colors that didn’t make sense to me.  Then, I would see the finished product and all the colors and prints looked so perfect together.  I envied the days I would be able to sew my own patches together and pick my own colors.
Our Aunt Bear would bind each quilt that Grandma Noon started.  They were a perfect team and won many quilting competitions for their work.  Aunt Bear passed away and Grandma Noon followed her soon after.  With them, left the tired hands of two best friends and great quilters.  They left big shoes to fill. 
When I first started sewing, I had no idea what a huge responsibility I was really taking on.  This quilt put me in my place.  You can see flaws in the stitches from me and from Grandma.  When I look at those flaws, what I really see is Grandma sitting in her sewing room and wondering who the little girl is that will be using this blanket.  I see her trying to hold on to her health as long as possible to meet you and give you the blanket herself.  I see a woman putting her sickness aside to carry on a tradition.  I see her rushing the fabric through the machine and never minding the flaws to finish the quilt that was meant for you.  When I study these flaws, I see me trying to remember everything Grandma taught me.  I see my mind overwhelmed with where to begin.  I see me sitting next to Grandma and learning to sew.  I see me wondering why I never learned how to bind a quilt from Aunt Bear.  I see me watching videos on YouTube called “How to Bind a Quilt”.  I see the mistakes I made and where I taught myself to correct them.  With the last stitch, I look at the last quilt top Grandma made and the first quilt I’ve ever binded, and I see you.
I thought sewing would just be a small time hobby.  I thought I learned these things so I could patch holes in my clothes and make pillows at most.  I had no idea I was learning how to carry on a tradition in our family.  I thank Grandma for giving me that.
I hope you grow up with this quilt and, when you look at it, I hope you see your first lost tooth and first birthday.  I hope you see your Mom and Dad.  I hope you see your family and our traditions.  I hope you see a great life full of love like your Grandma Noon had.
Love Always,
Your Cousin PaChomp