There’s a New Sheriff in Town

PaChomp: “Wow, I wish Pepper was here.  I really miss her.”

Ducky: “Yeah, I miss her too….” (he points and laughs at me) “and I wish you wouldn’t have killed her!”

Then we all laugh hysterically.  Our household maintains a dry, morbid sense of humor no matter the circumstances and this creative gene quadrupled in my five year old son.  He’s right, though, I really did kill our dog that we had for eight years.  Not on purpose, of course.  I’m not that morbid.  Or funny.  Though we make horrible jokes about her death, we all loved her and miss her very much.  

Dante Cul Pepper 2002-2010
I killed Pepper because I was astounded by the cost of dog collars these days and so I bought her one of those cheap collars that doesn’t have the safety release mechanism that breaks the collar apart if it is hung on something.  Plus, the cheap collars didn’t come in a size small enough for her tiny neck, so I had to get one that’s just large enough to form a noose.

Ducky and Pepper, both 8 lbs, circa 2005

I’m sure you can connect the dots from there, but I’ll talk slow for all the fucktards out there.  Her collar got hung up on the bottom of the fence in our back yard and she couldn’t get loose because her fucking collar was made for A) cheap bastards that want their dog to die or B) cheap bastards that think their dog is intelligent enough to keep from hanging themselves.  I am the latter cheap bastard, of course.

Goin’ to Pawpaw’s, circa 2009

I joke about her because it’s the only way I can talk about her without getting too emotional, but I have missed her since that day, November 19th, 2010.  Don’t worry, she doesn’t mind that we make jokes.  She understood us way back when we tested all of our baby toys out on her before Ducky was born.  Likewise, I knew she had a sick sense of humor like us the day she called me a bitch and put me outside.  She gets it.

Boppy Test I
Walker Test V

So back to my title story that my adult ADD won’t let me begin…

There’s a new sheriff in town and her name is Foxy Cleopatra.  Foxy, if you’re nasty.  She’s about 8 months old and a very sweet chihuahua (or chicken la la, as Ducky calls it).  We have had her for about a month and we love her already, although she is still trying to learn the rules of the house.  She loves to have her ears rubbed and she touches everything with her nose.  Ugh.  She is also very sensitive to our jokes, so some breaking in is in order.  Other than that, she is a great dog, so I wanted you to meet her.

I promise I will try not to kill this bitch.  Cheers to Foxy!


  1. Anonymous

    I just love that picture with their heads out the window. It almost looks as if Pepper were seeing herself as a kid sticking his head out the window. I miss her too.~Angie

  2. Anonymous

    Love your blog! Seriously no one in the whole wide world could make such a sad situation so ridiculously entertaining to read. Cheers to you <3Welcome Foxy! Kristina

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